Fuck the Tories, second best is….best (The 2015 Election Flick)

This is how it goes…

James always wins – over the last 20 years we’ve tried everything to stop him. 
Changing rules, Introducing new rules, bringing in the drug rule, repealing the drug rule; bringing back the drug rule.

Nothing worked. He’s just too good!.

Annoyingly, James’ brilliance remains supreme – despite a 5 year hiatus – in 2014 he won the World Cup taking away our new trophy – “The Ashes”. Video here

The Ashes is small glass jar filled with ashes of ‘The Beautiful Leg’ (if you’re not familiar with the Beautiful Leg you can find out Here) – so now there’s another trophy none of us will ever win.

Unknown to James, we also created the REAL trophy; The “1992 Ashes”, to be won by the runner up and one which James can NEVER Win. 

Filled with ashes of the same Beautiful Leg but in a different jar….it’s all ours!

In the unlikely event that someone else does win,  James hands over ‘The Ashes’ to the competition winner, the ’92 Ashes’ are awarded to the third placed flicker James leaves empty handed.

It’s a beautiful thing! 

So this is how it goes.

Labour lose votes to UKIP and the SNP. 

Consigned to a Tory government for the rest of time, the only alternative being a BLUE Labour? 

Let them win, let them have everything. They won’t leave us alone until they’ve got it anyway.

We’ll organise our lives in our own world, create something beautiful without them that the Tories, the ‘kippers, the silver spooners and super rich want but can never have – we may come second but we’ll be the better team.

So anyway, yes, to celebrate what we saw as the inevitable end of five years of Tory led rule, we organised our 2015 Election Flick.
We voted early, setup by 10 and by 10:30 James was hitting the wine. 

With celebration in the air, we took our eyes off the election and concentrated on the beautiful game. 

James signed the Greens’ Caroline Lucas; the SNPs Nicola Sturgeon joined Soweto Storm; while Nick Clegg and Nigel Farage have been turning out for FCA for 5 years now. 

  

Before the depressing news came through; James had won, I came second

 

And these are mine until the next time.

  

STILL hate Thatcher, STILL hate the Tories – Fuck the election, let’s flick!

WORLD CUP NEWS

A tiring first day here at the EDIDAS World Cup. Stephen’s late arrival, injected some excitement into the flagging proceedings and the Group matches went into the early hours. retiring at 1 am; groups F, G & H were then auto played.
Knockout begins today – Ghana v Colombia, Costa Rica v Australia, Switzerland v , Mexico, Brazil v Argentina, England v Japan, Nigeria v chile, Portugal v Russia, Honduras v South Korea.

James Lewis: Fraud (EURO96 Result update)

James Lewis - Fraud

In what’s being heralded as the most important archeological find since Tutankhamun’s tomb – confirmation of our EURO96 result is finally available for the record books.

VHS footage dating back to our pre EDIDAS days reveal the filthy lies of Righteous manager James Lewis.

“We’d all forgotten who’d won Euro 96” said an ‘insider’ close to the group. “..and over 15 years of losing to James brainwashed everyone into believing he’d probably won it”.

Until now!

Lewis was unavailable for comment.

Some of the scenes are shocking; amongst many shots of mainly Chris’ arse (in shorts) and views of the underside of the table – including all four of its original legs – we can see just how thick Chris’ hair is, that Steve’s hair is still black and even Pete’s dreads look quite new.

The evening started with the now legendary ‘Weigh in’

CLICK below for video

http://youtu.be/RE4m8k-7f18

What are they really looking at?

What are they really looking at?

Steve was pleased with his ‘Just over 11 stone’

Just a tad over 11st

Just a tad over 11st

Whereas Chris’ 14.5 stone was considered a ‘disadvantage’

Carrying a few more pounds

Carrying a few more pounds

Nearly all the goals are missed by the camera man (James) but the audio finally reveals the truth behind Lewis’ revisionist history.

By half time, Chris Whitmore’s “Real UK” were 6-1 up against Steve Moore’s “UFA” in a ninety minute thriller – so James hadn’t even made it to the Final!

By the end of the evening, UFA had clawed their way back to 5-6 and the crowd were looking forward to a ‘golden goal’ extra time.

Until a last minute winner from Real UK put paid to the Union of Fascist Americas’ dreams.

World Cup94 winner and referee for the evening – Pete

Ref!

Ref!

– presented the then Tory Sleaze Jets manager with his first major trophy.

The Winner!

The Winner!

Losing finalist, Steve was ‘gutted’

Loser!

Loser!

and it would be ten long years before Steve finally won a tournament.

In what was his first appearance in an EDIDAS competition, James is heard asking “so are the rules the same in the premiership?”.

While Steve, Pete and Chris are heard discussing James’ chances of joining their “Our Price Brent Spar Premier League”.

As far as we know James really did win every premiership he took part in but we can now confirm the winners of all EDIDAS’ extra curricular tournaments.

See below.

World Cup – USA94: Pete

EURO96: Chris

World Cup – France98: James

EURO 2000: Al (James stripped of title)

World Cup – Japan 2002: Chris

EURO 2004: Chris

World Cup – Germany 2006: Steve

After our eight year hiatus from international competitions we’re all looking forward to next year’s RIO 2014 World Cup in leafy Hailsham.

Rare video footage unearthed!

CLICK HERE Chris’ worst Subbuteo moment

“LOST” for six years in James’ house, footage of the legendary final match of our 2005-2007 Premiership sees the light of day at last.

Did Chris finally break James’ ten year reign as the undisputed EDIDAS champion by winning the final three matches of the year?.

Or did James – who could only sit and watch – take home the trophy yet AGAIN?

The 2007 EDIDAS Premiership decider (Chris’ worst moment) – taken from the podcast ‘EVERY DAY I DREAM ABOUT SUBBUTEO’.

This is the film we never made…getting made….slowly!

CLICK HERE
Chris’ worst Subbuteo moment

Margaret Thatcher’s Ashes – as it happened!

Righteous FC triumphant (again) in our ‘top of the pops’ special, dubbed “Margaret Thatcher’s Ashes”.

Due to too much champagne, the late night table announcement contained a slight error and a steward’s enquiry awarded Dunstan Bruce his missing point.

Corrected table here with goals scored criteria taking precedence over goals conceded.

P. W. D. L. F. A. Pts

Righteous 2. 2. 0. 0. 6. 3. 6

Buses. 2. 1. 1. 0. 2. 1. 4

Sensations. 2. 0. 2. 0. 3. 3. 2

FC Chumba. 2. 0. 1. 1. 4. 6. 1

Soweto. 2. 0. 1. 1. 2. 3. 1

FCA. 2. 0. 1. 1. 1. 2. 1

Top of the Pops veterans Dunstan Bruce and Stephen Boakes joined the usual suspects in an unofficial bank holiday flick for the ‘mournament of the century’ in honour of Margaret Thatcher’s funeral.

Starting with a debate to decide Lady Thatcher’s plastic figure’s fate – should it be burnt?

To burn or not to burn?

Eventually, a compromise was reached

Steve’s original #16 figure – Margaret Thatcher – was to be ‘buried’ in our trophy – The Ashes.

Going..going...

Therefore, becoming part of ‘The Ashes’.

Gone! Ashes to ashes.

 

In a thrilling, fun filled day, Dunstan’s FC Chumba Wanderers played a blinder scoring four goals in his debut appearance in an EDIDAS competition.

Dunstan was euphoric – having scored 2 of them against champions Righteous.

Stephen’s Sensations FC fared slightly better – gaining a point against Steve’s FCA – Thwarting Baroness Thatcher’s hope of shining on her big day in doing so.

Everything else fell into its normal place as Chris’ Brighton Buses finished runner up to James’ Righteous.

Pete’s Soweto Picnic and Steve’s FCA fought it out for bottom place.

Results

Soweto 1-2 righteous

Buses 1-0 FCA

FCA 1-1 Sensations

Soweto 1-1 Buses

Sensations 2-2 Chumba Wanderers

Chumba Wanderers 2-4 Righteous

As it happened…(in reverse)

Righteous’ last minute penalty left Soweto heartbroken going Down 1-2, helping Righteous retain the ashes.

Guess what! Righteous 2-1 Soweto

AGONY! Soweto concede penalty in the dying seconds.

Righteous equalize. 1-1 v Soweto.

Halle bop for Soweto 1-0

Soweto 0-0 righteous (ht)

Soweto v Righteous next

Paul Egg steps up for first ever game

Buses 1-0 FCA thriller

Heartbreak for FCA but Mrs Thatcher went down fighting as Magnus Volk scored Brighton buses winner in final moments of the game

Brighton buses take on FCA next. Will thatcher find her mojo?

Thatcher’s opening game went off without incident but Ramtha has to rescue his team.

Ramtha scores last minute equaliser – phew! FCA 1-1 Sensations

Tracey Emin opens the scoring. FCA 0-1 Sensations

FCA vs sensations – here we go!

Ida lupino equalises last minute vs Soweto 1-1 Buses

Biko scores from flick off. Soweto 1-0 Buses

Brighton Buses v Soweto coming up – watch out for that exciting nil-all draw!

What a day for Dunstan! Four goals in his debut appearance

Watts gets one back for chumba wanderes. 2-4 Righteous

Bresson scores his second while on yellow – earning him a RED CARD

and 4-1 righteous v chumbas

Moses makes it righteous 3-1 vs Chumbas

Cartier Bresson Immediately puts Righteous back 2-1 vs Chumbas.

Alice nutter equalises for chumbas 1-1 righteous

Eaglesmith scores for righteous 1 – 0 chumba wanderers.

Righteous’ Moses booked

Chumba narrow miss early on!…

Chumba wanderers vs Righteous ready for flick off.

Bruce equalises! Chumba wanderers 2-2 Sensations

Dunstan Bruce shoots! Saved by Rothko

Great #Subbuteo match: CHUMBA WANDERERS (1) – SENSATIONS (2), HALF TIME. supported by @SubboardApp

Sensations’ Keith flint puts them 2-1 up vs. Chumba Wanderers

Sensations equalise from billy childish 1-1 vs Chumbas

Took us a year to get him here, and he’s playing a blinder!

Whaley scores for chumba wanderers 1-0 Sensations

Sensations taking on new boys chumba wanderers

Here we are – waiting for flick off!

Essential Mournament equipment

 


She’s Alive!

“I don’t know what all the fuss is about” she said, sipping her third coffee of the morning.

“My loyal followers can rest assured – I’ve simply changed my address.

“Everyone’s here on the bus as usual and Mr Amin, Mr Hitler & Mr Manson send their regards – they’re playing a lovely game called water boarding or something” she went on.

With a decoy event in taking place to take the pressure off her at this difficult time, Mrs Thatcher has been confirmed in the FCA starting line up for today’s big tournament at PeteMurrayfield – “Margaret Thatcher’s Ashes”.

Champagne, A minute’s vuvuzela and turning Big Ben back on are on the menu whilst the debate over whether to burn her little plastic figure is still ongoing.

Guest list includes Mr Murray, Mr Moore, Mr Whitmore, Mr Lewis and Mr Boakes – Mr Bruce has promised to turn up ‘to watch’.