This is how it goes…

James always wins – over the last 20 years we’ve tried everything to stop him. 
Changing rules, Introducing new rules, bringing in the drug rule, repealing the drug rule; bringing back the drug rule.

Nothing worked. He’s just too good!.

Annoyingly, James’ brilliance remains supreme – despite a 5 year hiatus – in 2014 he won the World Cup taking away our new trophy – “The Ashes”. Video here

The Ashes is small glass jar filled with ashes of ‘The Beautiful Leg’ (if you’re not familiar with the Beautiful Leg you can find out Here) – so now there’s another trophy none of us will ever win.

Unknown to James, we also created the REAL trophy; The “1992 Ashes”, to be won by the runner up and one which James can NEVER Win. 

Filled with ashes of the same Beautiful Leg but in a different jar….it’s all ours!

In the unlikely event that someone else does win,  James hands over ‘The Ashes’ to the competition winner, the ’92 Ashes’ are awarded to the third placed flicker James leaves empty handed.

It’s a beautiful thing! 

So this is how it goes.

Labour lose votes to UKIP and the SNP. 

Consigned to a Tory government for the rest of time, the only alternative being a BLUE Labour? 

Let them win, let them have everything. They won’t leave us alone until they’ve got it anyway.

We’ll organise our lives in our own world, create something beautiful without them that the Tories, the ‘kippers, the silver spooners and super rich want but can never have – we may come second but we’ll be the better team.

So anyway, yes, to celebrate what we saw as the inevitable end of five years of Tory led rule, we organised our 2015 Election Flick.
We voted early, setup by 10 and by 10:30 James was hitting the wine. 

With celebration in the air, we took our eyes off the election and concentrated on the beautiful game. 

James signed the Greens’ Caroline Lucas; the SNPs Nicola Sturgeon joined Soweto Storm; while Nick Clegg and Nigel Farage have been turning out for FCA for 5 years now. 

Before the depressing news came through; James had won, I came second

And these are mine until the next time.

STILL hate Thatcher, STILL hate the Tories – Fuck the election, let’s flick!