In what’s being heralded as the most important archeological find since Tutankhamun’s tomb – confirmation of our EURO96 result is finally available for the record books.
VHS footage dating back to our pre EDIDAS days reveal the filthy lies of Righteous manager James Lewis.
“We’d all forgotten who’d won Euro 96” said an ‘insider’ close to the group. “..and over 15 years of losing to James brainwashed everyone into believing he’d probably won it”.
Until now!
Lewis was unavailable for comment.
Some of the scenes are shocking; amongst many shots of mainly Chris’ arse (in shorts) and views of the underside of the table – including all four of its original legs – we can see just how thick Chris’ hair is, that Steve’s hair is still black and even Pete’s dreads look quite new.
The evening started with the now legendary ‘Weigh in’
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What are they really looking at?
Steve was pleased with his ‘Just over 11 stone’
Just a tad over 11st
Whereas Chris’ 14.5 stone was considered a ‘disadvantage’
Carrying a few more pounds
Nearly all the goals are missed by the camera man (James) but the audio finally reveals the truth behind Lewis’ revisionist history.
By half time, Chris Whitmore’s “Real UK” were 6-1 up against Steve Moore’s “UFA” in a ninety minute thriller – so James hadn’t even made it to the Final!
By the end of the evening, UFA had clawed their way back to 5-6 and the crowd were looking forward to a ‘golden goal’ extra time.
Until a last minute winner from Real UK put paid to the Union of Fascist Americas’ dreams.
World Cup94 winner and referee for the evening – Pete
Ref!
– presented the then Tory Sleaze Jets manager with his first major trophy.
The Winner!
Losing finalist, Steve was ‘gutted’
Loser!
and it would be ten long years before Steve finally won a tournament.
In what was his first appearance in an EDIDAS competition, James is heard asking “so are the rules the same in the premiership?”.
While Steve, Pete and Chris are heard discussing James’ chances of joining their “Our Price Brent Spar Premier League”.
As far as we know James really did win every premiership he took part in but we can now confirm the winners of all EDIDAS’ extra curricular tournaments.
See below.
World Cup – USA94: Pete
EURO96: Chris
World Cup – France98: James
EURO 2000: Al (James stripped of title)
World Cup – Japan 2002: Chris
EURO 2004: Chris
World Cup – Germany 2006: Steve
After our eight year hiatus from international competitions we’re all looking forward to next year’s RIO 2014 World Cup in leafy Hailsham.